Secret Santa Solutions: under £5

Christmas is here, and inevitably, that involves the dreaded Secret Santa. Well, don’t worry – we’re here to help. We’ve found you a site to take the organisational pain away and we’ve sorted out the most hard to buy for colleagues. We’ve even broken it down by budget. And best of all? You don’t even need to leave your desk to buy this stuff.

The Muso

The Problem
They’re the person in charge of what radio station you listen to in the office, they’re into bands you pretty sure don’t even exist yet and they’ve already mastered Expert Level on Guitar Hero.

The Answer
Oh man this is awesome. According to the site, this is “One of the oldest musical instruments in the world! The reed is placed in the mouth and plucked with the finger to produce a note”. It actually sounds disappointingly like a digeridoo but on the upside, with enough practice you can play something approximating the Super Mario Bros theme tune.

The Smelly Colleague

The Problem
If HR Laws dictate you must always have a Pregnant Lady on site, the rules of life ensure there’s always a smelly colleague to contend with. The entire office will be looking for you to provide a subtle yet unmistakable hint to the problem in your Secret Santa gift.

The Solution
Maybe he just finds showering a dull activity. This is your chance to inject some fun into the process, with the Gelli Baff. Awful name, but awesome fun. You pour the sachet in and it turns the bath water to gel. Pour in the antidote, and it reverts to water. It’s probably not the most organic of products, but what’s a few allergic reactions between friends?

The Pregnant Lady

The Problem
It is a universal truth that every office has to have at least one pregnant lady at any one time. It’s in the HR Laws. However, Pregnant Lady comes with her own problems – you can’t buy her booze, for a start. So, what to do?

The solution
Search iTunes for pregnancy and you’ll find a whole raft of audiobooks and soundtracks. Try not to think about what Pregnant Lady will be doing whilst you listening to your gift, but just revel in her delight as she receives ‘Lovely Pregnancy 1’.

Anna the Support

The Problem: Anna isn’t ‘support staff’ – she’s your support, your shoulder to cry on, the only reason you don’t hand your notice in after a hellish morning of meetings. As such, you’d love to break the £5 barrier and splash out on something fab, but that breaks The Rules. So, you’ve got to find something wonderful, but cheap.

The Solution: Be quick! Threadless have a $5 t-shirt sale, which is £3.37 in real money – you can put the £1.63 towards postage. And she’s well aware of the very loose grasp on grammar that the rest of the office have, so this particular tee is perfect.

Get yours here.

Darren the Work Experience Boy

The Problem: the biggest problem is that you don’t know him, and he’s unlikely to last past Christmas – now is not the time to make an investment in your secret santa present. Having said that, he’s a teenage boy, and they’re generally pretty easy to buy for.

The Solution: The poor lad will be expecting something rubbish, and will be all prepared to pull a grateful face for the inevitable USB humping dog. Imagine his delight when he unwraps something genuinely useful! This speaker can be plugged into any MP3 player, and whilst it might not boast a subwoofer and rich tones, it’s perfect for annoying people on the bus with.

Get it here.