Get translation advice BEFORE naming your baby, think of its google rankings

If you’re thinking of calling your child anything more exotic than John or Mary, then maybe you should check out this pricey but unusual service which offers a “name translation check” pre-christening.

TodayTranslations go through pretty well most languages in the world and checks that the name you mean to give your sprog doesn’t mean anything stupid in *any* language.

This means that in years to come your child can travel the world from downtown Barcelona to Riga to Ethiopian villages unafraid that people will mock him because of his name. I mean, it won’t stop them giving you rude nicknames like “piggy” or “stupid” but it cut out at least one potential source of embarrassment.

This service has been largely marketed at celebs and you can easily see why: 1) celebs are more likely to call their kids weird names and 2) there’s a £1000 price tag on the translation check and celebs are a bit richer than the rest of us.

And in these crazy days of the internet, your name is more important than ever…

“A name today is no longer just a name but also now an online identity in a global village – something that parents have a responsibility to consider” says Jurga Zilinskiene, CEO of Today Translations. Yes, thinking of your child’s godparents is all very well, but what about their future google rankings?
Here are some examples of translation audits on celeb kid names:

– “Kai” [as in the young Rooney] means “pier” in Estonian, “probably” in Finnish and “stop it” in Yoruba

– “Suri” [Cruise] means “pickpocket” in Japanese, “turned sour” in French and “horse mackerels” in Italian.

– “Zuma” [Stefani Rossdale] means “running horse” in Japanese, “new day” in Mayan, “peace” in Arabic, and “Lord frowns in anger” in the Aztec language of Nahuatl.