Five things Apple's spokespeople won't be saying tonight

1 We know you love the iPhone 5, but we know you want it with a much bigger screen so the 5S now has a whopping five inch display.

2 The iPhone 5C will retail for much less than other iPhones, and won’t in any way cost the same as an iPhone 4

3 One more thing – here’s the Apple iWatch

4 And the new iPhone 5S now touts the best smartphone camera available

5 With the 5S’s Full HD screen and faster processor we are playing catch up

And a bonus depending on how the evening goes

6 Our share price has once again hit new heights