What British values are, according to Twitter
Education Secretary Michael Gove said earlier today that, in the future, all of England’s 20,000 primary and secondary schools will have to promote British values of tolerance and fairness, after findings revealed that schools in Birmingham had been taken over by Islamists. While we’re still trying to work out what exactly British values are, we turned to Twitter for some inspiration, and, as always, found some hilarious ideas. Here are some of our favourites:
Being extra polite
Waiting for permission to leave after paying for something with the exact change #BritishValues
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) June 10, 2014
Knowing the history of British things
I am told that the hashtag for #BritishValues was actually manufactured in China and the font is owned by a German company — Robin Ince (@robinince) June 10, 2014
Optimism
An ice cream van driving through a flood #BritishValues pic.twitter.com/P2PWClkznX
— The Poke (@ThePoke) June 10, 2014
GRAMMAR
#BritishValues pic.twitter.com/PiHTUV4XDt — Daisy Buchanan (@NotRollergirl) June 10, 2014
Social etiquette
Sitting on the grass in the park with exactly 1.2m of space between you & the next group of people #BritishValues
— Mrs Cubbins (@Gina_Gina_Gina) June 10, 2014
Being asked “Hiya, y’alright” and always answering “Yeah are you?” even if your leg is hanging off #BritishValues — Becky Holmes (@BeckyBooHolmes) June 10, 2014
Being so annoyed with a stranger that you almost say something #BritishValues — HouseOfSharkey (@HouseOfSharkey) June 10, 2014
Pride
@RenegadeEcon telling everyone at a dinner party what my house is worth. #BritishValues — Terry Davoren (@TerryDavoren) June 10, 2014
Money-saving skills
Putting supermarket own brand gin into a Tanqueray or Gordon’s bottle and then proudly pouring for friends. #BritishValues — Renegade Economist (@RenegadeEcon) June 10, 2014
Queuing etiquette
Standing in a queue for the bus and grumbling under your breath when someone cuts in front of you #BritishValues — PorkinsVegas™ (@DaveHorncastle) June 10, 2014
Moaning about the weather
June and sun is still shining and rain hasn’t come! That’s not very #BritishValues at all is it! Bloody #foreign weather coming over here… — Laura Marcus (@MissLauraMarcus) June 10, 2014
KNowing the difference between “too warm”, “very close” and “clammy”. #BritishValues — Rufus Hound (@RufusHound) June 10, 2014
Moaning about immigrants
#BritishValues feeling entitled to move where you want to and call yourself an ‘expat’ but moaning about ‘immigrants’ in the UK
— Marcus In E17 (@MarcusInE17) June 10, 2014
Moaning generally
Moaning that people don’t speak English when you go on holiday to Spain. #BritishValues — Dominic Leslie (@DomDom1919) June 10, 2014
Smart shopping
#BritishValues Popping into your local Christian DIY store to pick up some handy floor spikes to nail in a nearby doorway
— markdavyd (@markdavyd) June 10, 2014
Knowing your biscuits
Eating a posh biscuit and realising your previous biscuit experiences have been inadequate. #BritishValues — Rosie Claverton (@rosieclaverton) June 10, 2014
Knowing your tea
Bringing your own teabags with you on holiday abroad. #BritishValues
— Christian DeFeo (@doctorcdf) June 10, 2014
Getting your priorities right
Remortgaging the house to buy a luxury car. #BritishValues — Terry Davoren (@TerryDavoren) June 10, 2014
Good role models
#BritishValues pic.twitter.com/sNf17hM3fm — Lisa Flashheart (@BiscuitAhoy) June 10, 2014
And, lastly, tutting
Tutting, but very quietly, so no-one can hear you #BritishValues — Hopi Sen (@hopisen) June 9, 2014
Image via Vaughan Leiberum
