The BlackBerry Leap website reads like the answer to a Buzzfeed quiz

BlackBerry is releasing a new phone, the BlackBerry Leap, in the UK this month. It costs £199 and is clearly aimed at young people – the type who want to be magnates. Not so much the ones who used BlackBerry Messenger to organise the London riots.

The Leap website is written in a backslapping, overly familiar we-understand-you tone that makes me (hopefully still young enough to be the target market for this phone) cringe.

I am not a start-up. No one is a start-up.

“Powers through.” “Power users.” “Power through.” “Power consumption”. I wonder what they’re getting at here.

Still, you don’t have to stay up all night to work out that a 2800 mAh battery is significantly outclassed by, say, the LG G3 (3000), OnePlus One (3100) or Honor 6+ (3600). But hey, you’re a power user, you knew that.

Typos ruin lives, people.

Has anyone, anywhere, of any age, ever used the phrase “inbox Zen”?

The browser is “industry-recognised” in the sense that the industry grudgingly recognises it exists.

“We can’t put an #AfterSexSelfie in there. What can we use for the don’t-get-your-nudes-stolen section?”
“Just a couple. Clothed. People can just assume they had sex.”
“OK, and what killer accessory can we design for this phone? What cool thing do young people really want?”

Gimme.

Full disclosure: it’s possible I’m slightly bitter about BlackBerry’s copywriting, since I once wrote their BlackBerry 10 microsite and they replaced all my words with buzzwords.

The BlackBerry Leap is available to preorder now, shipping at the end of the month. It’s £199 and has a 5-inch HD display, 8MP main camera, 16GB of storage and a really kickass leather holster.